I have re-read Adi 1.6 and found our current lesson (Antya lila chapter 14) a continuation of Adi 1.6. In CC Adi 4.107-112 which describes Adi 1.6 in detail, the author Krsnadas Kaviraj Goswami mentioned that he would describe the pastimes of Lord Caitanya’s separation from Lord Krsna in greater detail later. Antya 14 picks up where the author left off in Adi lila.
There are a couple of verses from Adi-lila 4 that stand out for me. One is, of course, the famous verse
CC Adi 1.6 — “Desiring to understand the glory of Radharaṇi’s love, the wonderful qualities in Him that She alone relishes through Her love, and the happiness She feels when She realizes the sweetness of His love, the Supreme Lord Hari, richly endowed with Her emotions, appeared from the womb of Srimati Saci-devi, as the moon appeared from the ocean.”
Other important verses are
CC Adi 4.106 — The heart of Lord Caitanya is the image of Sri Radhika’s emotions. Thus feelings of pleasure and pain arise constantly therein.
CC Adi 4.107-112 — In the final portion of His pastimes, Lord Caitanya was obsessed with the madness of separation from Lord Kṛṣṇa. He acted in erroneous ways and talked deliriously. Just as Radhika went mad at the sight of Uddhava, so Lord Caitanya was obsessed day and night with the madness of separation. At night He talked incoherently in grief with His arms around Svarupa Damodara’s neck. He spoke out His heart in ecstatic inspiration. Whenever a particular sentiment arose in His heart, Svarupa Damodara satisfied Him by singing songs or reciting verses of the same nature.
CC Adi 4.121 — Kṛṣṇa says, “I am the primary cause of all rasas. I am the full spiritual truth and am made of full joy, but the love of Srimati Radharaṇi drives Me mad. I do not know the strength of Radha’s love, with which She always overwhelms Me. The love of Radhika is My teacher, and I am Her dancing pupil. Her prema makes Me dance various novel dances.”
CC Adi 4.132-135 — “Sri Radhika is the highest abode of that love, and I am its only object. I taste the bliss to which the object of love is entitled. But the pleasure of Radha, the abode of that love, is ten million times greater. My mind races to taste the pleasure experienced by the abode, but I cannot taste it, even by My best efforts. How may I taste it? If sometime I can be the abode of that love, only then may I taste its joy.”
When I link Adi lila and Antya lila, what stands out for me are the concepts of Asraya and Visaya. By tattva, the devotee is called asraya, and his beloved, Krsna, is the visaya. In the loving affairs of Sri Radha and Kṛṣṇa, Srimati Radharaṇi is the aśraya feature and Kṛṣṇa the viṣaya. The transcendental consciousness of the Lord tells Him, “I am Kṛṣṇa, and I experience pleasure as the viṣaya. The pleasure enjoyed by Radharaṇi, the asraya, is many times greater than the pleasure I feel.” Therefore, to feel the pleasure of the asraya category, Lord Kṛṣṇa appeared as Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. (CC Adi 4.132-135)
What we are seeing now in Antya 14 is the fulfillment of that inner desire of Lord Krsna. We see the role reversals here – Lord Krsna (visaya) has appeared as Lord Caitanya, and is manifesting the mood of Srimati Radharani as asraya (even though He is always the visaya). The Lord is experiencing the same pangs of separation that Srimati Radharani went through Krsna left Vrndavana.
What kind of separation is the Lord going through? We see them in the following verses.
CC Antya 14.36-39: Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said, “I found Kṛṣṇa, the Lord of Vrndavana, but I have lost Him again. Who has taken My Kṛṣṇa? Where have I come?”
CC Antya 14.40-43: At night, Lord Caitanya would reveal to Svarupa Damodara and Ramananda Raya the ecstatic feelings of His mind. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu using a metaphor said, “At first My mind somehow achieved the treasure of Kṛṣṇa, but it again lost Him. Therefore it gave up My body and home because of lamentation and accepted the religious principles of a kapalika-yogi. Then My mind went to Vrndavana with its disciples, My senses.” Having lost His acquired gem, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu became overwhelmed with lamentation by remembering its attributes. Then, grasping the necks of Ramananda Raya and Svarupa Damodara Gosvami, He cried, “Alas, where is My Lord Hari? Where is Hari?” Finally He became restless and lost all patience. “My dear friends,” He said, “please hear of Kṛṣṇa’s sweetness. Because of a great desire for that sweetness, My mind has given up all social and Vedic religious principles and taken to the profession of begging, exactly like a mystic yogi.
Now one may wonder that Lord Krsna wanted to taste the sweetness and happiness of Srimati Radharani’s love for Him. On the contrary, what we are seeing is Lord Caitanya going through extreme pain and distress due to the separation from Krsna. How do we understand this? My humble realization is that there is happiness and sweetness even in this separation. Because we are conditioned, we will not be able to understand this. Even the author has acknowledged this. He said that unless one is a very highly advanced devotee, he cannot understand these intricate feelings.
My dear readers, simply try to hear this description with faith and love. That will help you understand transcendental ecstasy, and at last you will achieve love of Godhead very easily.” (CC Antya 14.36-39)
Lord Caitanya’s heart was full of the feelings of Srimati Radharaṇi, and His appearance resembled Hers. Svarupa Damodara has explained His attitude as radha-bhava-murti, the attitude of Radharaṇi. One who engages in sense gratification on the material platform can hardly understand radha-bhava, but one who is freed from the demands of sense gratification can understand it. Radha-bhava must be understood from the Gosvamis, those who are actually controllers of the senses. From such authorized sources it is to be known that the attitude of Srimati Radharaṇi is the highest perfection of conjugal love, which is the highest of the five transcendental mellows, and it is the complete perfection of love of Kṛṣṇa.
These transcendental affairs can be understood on two platforms. One is called elevated, and the other is called superelevated. The loving affairs exhibited in Dvaraka are the elevated form. The superelevated position is reached in the manifestations of the pastimes of Vrndavana. The attitude of Lord Caitanya is certainly superelevated.
From the life of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, an intelligent person engaged in pure devotional service can understand that He always felt separation from Kṛṣṇa within Himself. In that separation He sometimes felt that He had found Kṛṣṇa and was enjoying the meeting. The significance of this separation and meeting is very specific. If someone tries to understand the exalted position of Lord Caitanya without knowing this, he is sure to misunderstand it. One must first become fully self-realized. (CC Adi 4.106 Purport)
I do not claim that I understand everything, not am I qualified to understand these deep pastimes of the Lord. But with all faith, devotion, and humility, I will accept whatever Krsnadas Kaviraj Goswami Prabhupada has written. The fact that we I have got the opportunity to read and hear these pastimes, which are the highest philosophical truths of conjugal love, is nothing but Lord Caitanya’s and Srila Prabhupada’s causeless mercy upon us. I am eternally grateful to them and out teacher, HG Dhruva Maharaj prabhu.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada!